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Reestablishing Wellness: The Need to Grieve
Ruth A. Whitham While mourning this 'loss of self,' a person grieves over:
- The loss of many daily activities and many bodily functions which are disturbed. These losses can be physical - either in the form of paralysis, or any other anatomical impairment in structure or function which causes restriction of normal activity; psychological - in the form of poor emotional control, with embarrassment created by laughing or crying at inappropriate times; cognitive - in the form of diminished ability to think logically and efficiently causing glaring errors in paper work, speech and approaches to life.
- The feeling of having been deprived of one's ability to map the future. We interpret this as the loss of goals, dreams and fulfillment of ambition, an end to 'the pursuit of happiness.' As a result, social identity, credibility and integrity begin to crumble.
- Concrete losses and fears concerning employment, financial stability, social status and personal and professional relationships.
- The very core and essence of one's self including one's ability to love and be loved; one's stream of consciousness, instinct, knowledge and established belief systems; improverished moral, philosophical and spiritual evolution. Simply put, the loss of all things that, for some, comprise the human soul.
- The loss of memories linked to sensory input from vision, hearing, smell, touch and taste - the provocative fragrance of perfume, the tune and associations created by a favorite song, childhood secrets, a lover's caress, the pleasurable sensations of cooking and eating.
- The loss of stamina and coping skills needed to survive future tragedies in the outside world.
- Damaged 'brain architecture' which sabotages learning, perception and judgement. The inability to solve problems, either consciously or unconsciously.
- The feeling that no one can be trusted. I am all alone.
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