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A Survivor's Views on Peer Support Hello fellow peers. I think I'll begin this with why I'm writing. My life took on new meaning after an unexpected automobile accident on June 30, 1985. The near-fatal collision forced me to become another one of the many survivors of a traumatic brain injury. I was happily-married and mother of two darling kids. Patricia Hergott's face and name stayed the same, but my abilities for living an active life were dramatically turned-around in a blink-of-an-instant. I lived and received therapy at The Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital for four months, and was sent home in December of the same year, 1995. Richard, my husband, and I found out that I wasn't the only survivor of a brain injury, but we were both under the impression that no other survivor's injury was as traumatic as mine! I don't remember having heard about the 'Silent Epidemic' before my mishap, but if I did I probably thought, Why should I worry? That will never happen to me. I LEARNED THE HARD-WAY THAT IT CAN, AFTER IT DID! Brain injury doesn't always happen to the other-guy. It doesn't matter where you live, how decent you are, or how old you are. Richard and I attended a Brain Injury Support Group meeting in Lincoln. So many were in attendance; I can only remember a few of them. Many of the strangers were family members (care-givers), but several were survivors of a brain injury also. My husband and I already knew that no brains think alike, and therefore learned that no two brain-injuries could be alike. The injury may have occurred in the same manner, but the victims' age and care (received-or-needed) are worlds-apart. After my husband gave up on helping me cope, and divorced me in 1992, he received custody of our kids. I turned to other survivors of the Lincoln support group, and became very close to one of my peers. I want to tell you about her life so you can understand how happily I've learned to accept my limitations. Jane Stastny doesn't let me know her disability-for-life annoys her in any way. Her wonderful heart lets her make her way through life in a wheelchair. Jane lives by herself in a small apartment in Lincoln; her parents live about 100 miles from there. A handy-van takes Jane to and from Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital, Monday through Friday. There Jane has many friends who also come for therapy-in-living skills. They come to Madonna's Day Services to converse with peers about any problems and strengths they may have. They each have sessions in Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and Speech Therapy. They eat lunch together, play board games, or just plain joke around when they have a break between therapy. Jane became a TBI survivor after a car-accident on Christmas day in 1990. She had already graduated from college in Dietetics and Food Service Management, and has always enjoyed cooking and trying a different recipe. After asking everybody she knew for recipes, relatives and friends included, she finally had a recipe book published in 1995. I visit Jane whenever possible but I'll never try to claim any responsibility for helping her find the strength needed for living day to day. I can give her most of the credit for my coping with TBI. Jane's strength led me to take a quote of Joni Erickson Tada to heart. Take a complicated situation, and with time, patience, and a smile, turn it into something positive...for you and for others. Jane will forever have my love, respect, and admiration. Thought you should know about one of my most prominent peers, and why I believe peer support is truly a benefit for my living a damaged life with a truly confident-trusting manner. Other peers work with Jane to provide me with comfort needed to live my life to the fullest, and beyond. Those who continue with schooling, to better themselves, have taught me that nothing can be truly lost before the end of time. Since my marriage collapsed seven years after the treacherous accident, I purchased a house in my home town of Crete, Nebraska. My mother moved in with me and gets me around town when the Nebraska weather won't allow me to walk or ride my tricycle. The Saline County Area Transit gets me to and from Lincoln for services not available in the much smaller community. I graduated from Crete High School in 1977, and was a secretary and receptionist until that dreadful day in 1985. Once my working came to an end, I replaced the damaged portion of my brain with a Macintosh computer to get me started on a new career as an author for children and teenagers. The computer also lets me retain my secretarial skills for the Brain Injury Association of Nebraska. Each of my days follow the routine of breakfast, exercise, typing, typing, typing, and more typing. Maybe some studying of writing-techniques between stories. I'm certain my peers have motivated me in my getting noticed in groups: Community socializing and card playing, Brain Injury Association, Nebraska Writer's Group, Church groups (Alter Society, Bible Study), etc. My socializing with the community led me to the terrific therapy of Country dancing. After two tear-jerking affairs with former classmates; I learned to appreciate my strengths and disregard my faults, or work around them. I believe my feeling up on the world led to the proposal for a second marriage with a man who thanks me, time and time again, for coming into his life. Sam and I take dance lessons most every Sunday evening. Both my kids have told me they like Sam, and I have their approval. Sam's kids are grown and on their own, so I won't have any kid-raising to get back into. Sam attends Brain Injury Support Group meetings with me, and he drives me to board meetings of The Brain Injury Association of Nebraska. I'm looking into starting a support group here in Crete. I'll end this with my wishing you every opportunity to strengthen your lives with the peer support you find. |
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